Lean Pockets: Garlic Chicken White Pizza

30 Apr

Keep Zach awayThese things are pretty good when you’re drunk. The other night I drank half a bottle of Sailor Jerry’s way too quickly and the rest is still kind of blurry. One thing I unfortunately do remember is that around 2 or 3 in the morning I got hungry and decided to pop one of these babies into the microwave. I managed to take it out and cut it up on a plate (so it would cool faster) without incident, but when I got back to my room I must have stumbled and dropped the plate on the ground and immediately forgot about it, because it sat there upside-down on my floor for about an hour. When I finally looked down from my bed and saw/remembered that I had dropped my snack, I was still wasted enough to pick up the pieces and eat them, cold, off the floor, like David Hasselhoff. Disgustingly drunk or not, they were still pretty good.

When cooked just right, the Lean Pocket is as good as it looks on the box, with tender garlic chicken in a thick mozzarella wrapped inside a crisp, crunchy crust. Occasionally you might get a chewy cardboard-type crust (particularly at the ends, which are always the weakest bits of any microwave treat), but the taste of the chicken is always good. Or rather, you don’t feel like you’re killing yourself slowly with each bite. Just some of the bites.

I give it 4 out of 6 stars.

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