Steak Sucks

15 Feb

I love meat, but I really don’t give a shit about steak, and for some reason that seems to shock a lot of people. Even vegans think I’m a pussy for not liking steak, but that’s just the way it is. I don’t get what’s so great about it. Maybe I’ve never had one cooked right or something, but it’s usually just too chewy and then there’s gristle on one side that you have to cut around and AHH forget it. Too much work.
It seems like every time I go out to eat with fellow bearded, red-blooded males, I always get some sermon about how “THIS PLACE MAKES THE BEST STEAK BRO YOU GOTTA TRY IT IT’S HUUUUUGE MY DUDE“. No thanks. Be it as a main course, or just in my quesadilla, I’ll order chicken every time. Hell, I’d even take some salmon over steak, and as we all know…

Sometimes a Philly Cheese Steak is pretty good, but I think that’s mostly because of the melted cheese and sauteed mushrooms they pile on. The steak itself just makes the whole thing annoyingly tough. Plus just the term “Cheese steak” makes me feel constipated.

So yeah, fuck steak. It’s not worth the hassle. When it comes to cow, just give me a burger and some beef jerky.

Damn I want a chicken quesadilla.

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