Out of milk.

5 Jul


I just poured myself a big bowl of beautiful cereal, only to learn all too late that we’re out of milk. I hate when this shit happens. Why is there no milk? Somebody should have gone out earlier and made sure we had plenty of 2% in the fridge, the lazy assholes. I would have gone, but I was too busy sleeping all day.

This blows. Now I either have to eat my cereal dry like some half-Hawaiian deviant commoner or listen to Craig’s dad and “put some water on that damn shit.”

The problem is I’ve tried this but it just erases the flavor and makes the cereal truly awful. Nope, all good hearted people know that to eat cereal you need milk. They also know that the proper way to pour your bowl is cereal first, milk second. However, I’ve recently learned that there is a certain girl (terrorist) I know who pours the milk first and the cereal second, making a mockery of the whole meal.

To hell with it, I’ll just have ice cream for breakfast. This is bullshit. I bet they never run out of milk in Christina Hendricks’ house…


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