Bad Sandwich-Worse Beef Steak

26 Jun

As punishment for laughing at a Tracy Morgan joke earlier today, I am now going to make and eat a bad sandwich. Nothing too fancy, just a simple, bad sandwich. If you’re weird or perverted and want to make one at home, here’s what you’ll need;

1) Bread (duh)
2) Peanut butter
3) Hot Sauce my brother stole from Chili’s
4) Mint Jelly
5) Bananas
6) Tuna fish

The Pepto is optional.

Step 1
Spread the peanut butter on one slice of bread, then add a layer of thinly sliced bananas on top.

So far so good.

Step 2
Once you’ve spread the mint jelly on the opposite slice, dump a can of tuna onto the bananas.

(When handling the tuna, be careful not to get lost in the lusty gaze of the Chicken of the Sea mermaid…)

Step 3

Lastly, cover the tuna with the hot sauce (I used Tabasco and Cholula sauce). Then close it up and serve;

Bon Appétit


Well, simply put, it tastes pretty bad. Not much else to say. It just tastes like Tabasco sauce with shitty mint jelly and occasionally you get a crunch from the peanut butter, but other than that it’s just tasteless mush and hot sauce. What a disappointment.

Since I can’t really think of anything else to say about this waste of energy, I’ll just bitch about Jack Link’s Peppered Beef Steaks.

Damn these things are disgusting. I tried to eat one the other day but gave up after just a few bites. It was like eating a salty, peppery, over processed piece of shit. If the garbage under my bed is any indication, I love beef jerky;

-Jack Link’s included. But this beef steak thing was just horrible. I almost wonder if I ate a particularly bad one or something, because if they all taste like this then I just don’t understand.
Who are the people who like these things? If they like the taste of shit so much why don’t they just take a dump in a bowl and eat that? Save some money. Add some pepper and it probably tastes about the same.

2/12 for the Mint/Peanut butter/Tuna/Banana/Hot Sauce Sandwich and 0/20 for Jack Link’s Peppered Beef Steak.


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